My perinatal journey started in my third trimester. I found myself completely overwhelmed with sadness and uncontrollably sobbing for days at a time. My boyfriend desperately wanted to help but it was hard to accept help when I didn’t know why I was crying. This continued till I delivered my baby.
He was beautiful, still is. I love every second of being his mom. However, I spent a lot of night just crying over him. I was exhausted, healing from my c-section, alone during the days while my boyfriend worked. I felt like I was living in a box experiencing the same day repeatedly. The screening questions were far from how I was feeling. I was not suicidal, I still saw the funny side of life and I was sleeping well when I was able to. Because of my answers, I was dismissed as okay. However, I wasn’t.
After 6 months of praying that the feeling would stop, I sought help from my primary physician and the depression is gone. Now, I battle severe anxiety. I have a hard time driving because I’m afraid of an accident. I lose sleep over “whats ifs” and panic over any pain or unusual symptom. My family has done nothing but support me & help me get through this and everyday gets a little bit easier.