Feeling Broken

Just the other day, my husband and I walked past the baby department at Target, and I asked him if he ever wondered what “Peanut” would be wearing, what he’d play with, how his laugh would sound, and he replied, “ yes, every day; I think about it all the time.”  I had a miscarriage 3 years ago.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think about the what if’s. What did I do wrong? What if I ate something bad? What if I did something wrong, and now I’m broken? Have I failed as a woman?  I don’t speak much about it, other than with my husband. Miscarriage and pregnancy loss are topics that are too taboo for society to deem worthy of conversation, so we find it easier to shut them out and pretend they don’t exist.    

This evening, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, when it popped up – “ Michelle Obama reveals her miscarriage heartbreak.” Did I just read that correctly? Michelle Obama? But she is so graceful, so beautiful, and so professional – how can she….”   Then it hit me. Just because she exudes so much strength, power, and grace on the outside, doesn’t mean there isn’t an aching heart on the inside.

As I read through the article, I realized that she was expressing a lot of the same emotions and frustrations as I was. She felt hurt and confused. She blamed herself. She felt like she was a failure as a woman. I wanted to share this article with you today, because just like me, there are other women out there that need to know they are not alone in their struggle. We all deal with it differently, but knowing there are others out there experiencing similar struggles makes a smidge of that pain easier to deal with.  We have to start somewhere!

 Break the silence. Shatter the stigma. We’re here for you.

 You can view the article at this link:

 https://nypost.com/2018/11/09/michelle-obama-reveals-her-miscarriage-heartbreak-turning-to-ivf/fbclid=IwAR2E3rO0hp4mn7AXYruuQt8S-sGCtd_RV7OrGed7M0uHqZCmNtZG-qsR8a8