Changing Our Views on Happiness

As we near the end of October, let us be reminded of the babies that were too precious for this earth, and left us far too soon.  Too often, we feel that we should be silenced about our struggles with fertility, miscarriage, or loss of a child, especially when we see others rejoicing in the perfection of their lives. 

Those of us that use social media are often led down a false reality of everyone’s version of happiness. We see the happy couples with their perfect children-with the ability to have children. Your neighbor’s friend with the straight A son, who is an all-around great student. What we don’t see is the stress behind the mom struggling to balance work and keeping her child on task. We don’t see the husband who is away at work for months at a time, missing out on the child’s milestones, leaving the mom to fend for herself and the kids. We fail to acknowledge or to admit the problems we face , our flaws. We think that our inability to have children makes us flawed. I’ve even heard some women say they aren’t “ real women “ because their bodies failed to produce children. We also stay silent about what hurts us. 

The worst part is that we keep these feelings bottled up and refuse to speak about them. We say we’re ok, when we’re dying inside. We fear being touted as the “Debbie downer” of the bunch. Let’s try something. Going forward, let’s take a moment to appreciate ourselves. 

Every day, look in the mirror and say something nice about yourself. It could be something as simple as “you look amazing today,” or something as deep as “ you did great today!”  Changing our approach to happiness could help with our self-esteem and how we handle challenges. 

Speak up. Talk to someone. Vent. You don’t have to handle your problems alone.