I have yet to implode...

So, I’m the mother of two glorious daughters. A strong and independent two-year-old and a soft and squishy one-month-old. They’re great…in separate, small doses. Together, at the same time, I feel like i’m living in the 9th ring of hell. And that’s because I only have two. That does not, however, discount my life’s level of difficulty.

I’ve been at it for one week. ONE WEEK and already I would rather pull out my hair one follicle at a time than go one more night without sleep. Call me a pussy, call me weak, but I’m not too big to admit when I need help.

My husband works in the oilfield. He doesn’t have to go off for weeks at a time, but he does have a one hour commute to and from work everyday M-F. He has to be at the shop by 5am, which means he wakes up at 3am to get ready and leave. Then by the time he gets home it’s 7pm (sometimes later), we eat dinner and he gives our toddler a bath and is in bed himself by 9pm. So, during the week I suck it up and do what I have to in order to take care of our kids. I get no sleep. How do you do it?

I know there are women out there that have more kids with more absent husbands - how do you do it? How do you NOT feel like a mess and a failure or like your husband doesn’t want you anymore. How do you still feel like a woman? Because, I’m fresh out of the gate right now and I already feel like just a kid caretaker machine. I made this blog to help me. Help sort out my feelings so that I’m not just constantly screaming at my husband.

Don’t worry, it won’t always be bitching and moaning. My toddler does tons of weird stuff that will warrant blog entries and I am still in awe at my beautiful newborn so there will be lots of pictures. But, I need something for the bad days also. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes there’s rain and flooding and thunderstorms and hurricanes. Gotta live with those too.