A Dance of Fire & Ice

 Do I have to credit GRRM for my title? 

Do I have to credit GRRM for my title? 

Today is our third wedding anniversary and I am the happiest I've been in a while. I woke up and spent time with my husband before he headed off to work. Tonight, I am making a special dinner for us, hopefully it will be tasty :)

Now that the seemingly perfect start to the day is out of the way, let's talk about how I found my toddler when I went to get her from her bedroom. Zoey was completely naked (well, just down to her diaper. Thank goodness she was kind enough to leave that on) and standing at her window while knocking on it and yelling. At some point I'm guessing she got too hot in her fleece onesie and just decided to take matters into her own hands.  From day-to-day I never know what version of my child I will get, but I'll tell you this - she is the sweetest little asshole you will ever meet. She's like those little sour patch bears in the commercials.

 This is Zoey. 

This is Zoey. 

She is, undoubtedly, my fire. She is sassy and feisty and she tests the very limits of my patience. But, she is also loving and caring and polite and sweet and quirky and I love her with every fiber of my being.

Now, when I walk in to get Sophia it's like another world. She greets me with a huge smile every morning and the love in her eyes melts my heart. I will pick her up and she leans in to put her face next to mine. The entire day she will just be happy. She rarely ever complains, even when she is a drooling factory and sticking her entire hand in her mouth and I know she is teething. She is my ice. When Zoey drives me absolutely BONKERS and I feel like I'm at the end of my stupid fucking rope, all I need to do is hang out with Sophia and remind myself that these girls are my life. We made them. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I totally gave Zoey my fire (but her daddy is responsible for the shenanigans).

Life has never been harder, yet more rewarding at the same time. Balance is key. Even when my toddler shits on my day, I have to find my zen. I will never give in to her demands, because all that will happen is I will stomp around in a rage while she moves on and forgets what she was demanding in the first place. Toddlers are masters of the concept and execution of the transference of negative energy. You must never let them win. I have much more to learn and more phases to endure. For now, though, I'll take it all, because even on the worst days, I wish they could stay this small forever. They grow up too fast. Tell them to STOP.